Under the Neem tree of Life!
It is amazing how obvious facts dawn on you in the simplest of moments. One such ordinary moment was coke with a school friend in Mcdonald’s! A simple evening just to catch up on each other where we talked about the age old saga of saas-bahu animosity...
She talked about how her mother in law drew her insane with petty issues like what to cook, what all work she should be expert at after one year of marriage, a concept which I am still trying to digest as to how a girl is supposed to master the art of running a house as efficiently as her mother in law within just a year while the husband is still in love with the TV and couch! Anyway, I was introduced to a world where the mother in law would mute up on random occasions leaving my friend clueless about what her crime was, and suddenly become over-friendly leaving my poor friend wondering if it were a scene of Rajneeti!
By the end of the 20min one sided conversation I gasped and asked my friend how she managed to keep her cool and go back home. To this she just shrugged her shoulders and said, ‘Simple! I treat it like a game! Take the wins and losses in my stride and move on. Study the opponent and decide my next moves for a win.’ Wow! What an interesting attitude! And so true indeed.
At that moment sitting in front of her I looked back at many instances in my life, where I let myself get carried away in the moment and took irrational decisions ultimately to let the opponent have his/her way. The practicality in her statement struck me like lightning! I realised that at many times I was able to tell what the other person was thinking but since I let myself get carried away in the emotion(anger/hurt) it I was not able to interact with the person objectively to get what I wanted and not end up letting him/het have her way. Never exploited the power of objective thinking.
Don’t most of us wonder why when it comes to others, we are able to provide easy solutions whereas in a similar situation we are as confused and indecisive as them! Why most practical of the lot cannot get over a breakups! Why a woman can think objectively when taking a decision to stay away from the in-laws but cannot let go of her son and daughter in law?! I guess to become objective is the key to all these situations, and as my friend said take it like a game..I don’t say that one should become an emotionless monster but if being objective can become good defence mechanism and give you good healing powers why not?!